Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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