so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
