oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I have post one night stand depression
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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