Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
