I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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