if you like me you must not know who I am
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize