can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
