i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
