Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
