IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
