I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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