why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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