Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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