and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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