I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
