WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
