I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
