Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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