that's an acceptable place to lick
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
