I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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