Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Randomize
