I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
