he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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