her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize