How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
