so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
