My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
