I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
How naked do you want me to be?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
