he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
