I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
