Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
