operation harelip BJ is a go
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
