she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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