I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
