Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
