I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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