i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
