Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize