Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
accomplished twins. life is a go
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
