It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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