So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
