i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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