Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
