i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
