I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
