just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the day after is always just damage control
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
