Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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