Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
