I got chris browned last night
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
They have beer where we have blood.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
