Pappa wants mamma naked
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
