Capitaan dildo arrescate!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
