I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
