i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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