O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
