I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
