Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
