First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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