Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
