as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
