Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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