i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
God I need to hump something, right now.
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