we have pet lesbian snakes
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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