that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
God I need to hump something, right now.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
